Bloom for Me
by Allumettes
Summary: Everyone’s got stories of their first loves, and I imagine mine’s not much different. Love and loss is the same for everyone, I think. Everybody looses themselves the first time. Sweet but serious Ino-Saku.


******_Bloom _******

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Everyone's got stories of their first loves, and I imagine mine's not much different. Love and loss is the same for everyone, I think. Everybody looses themselves the first time.

It was September, summer had almost gone but it went with a last period of hot, dry air and the sun was still blazing in the sky. School had just started and I was about to meet her, that girl I would fall madly and desperately in love with. I didn't know then. I didn't know anything except what was in the books that I had read (and that didn't prove to be particularly helpful, as I discovered later). I was green as grass, if you'll forgive me the cliché.

Things hadn't really changed for me since last year, except of course that I was supposed to be a summer wiser and more experienced. Everyone all around me was going on and on about this party they'd been to, and that guy they'd hooked up with. It seemed that all the girls I knew from last year, had grown up from silly teens into slightly less silly, experienced women over the meagre three months that I hadn't seen them.

I felt left behind, a little bit like a freak. I had gone to the coast with my parents, like every year, and I hadn't been to any wild beach parties or made any new friends. I had read twenty books in stead. I didn't feel different. God knows that was all going to come to pass in the following months.

Anyway, I couldn't talk, though I felt I had to. I was supposed to be excited. I didn't want to give off the vibe that I hadn't amused myself over the summer. I wanted to at least pretend my holiday had been as interesting as theirs.

'Oh, he was sooo gorgeous. And I know for a fact that Lin asked him out as well, but he said no to her. I know he's got my cell number, but do you think that maybe I should call him? What do you think? Are you even listening, Sakura!'

'Huh, what?' My oh so intelligent response.

Really, I couldn't care less whether Kenny from last year would go out with her if she called. My friend's face hardened and she promptly turned around to start up a fresh conversation with a kindred soul one seat behind us.

Classrooms always smelled strange early in the school year, fresh. I was sitting by the front, next to the window. Curiously isolated. The teacher's desk was almost right next to mine, so even though I sat right in front, he'd never see me. The perfect arrangement, I could doodle all over my books and not have to answer any questions, other student's questions that is. I felt just fine answering the teacher's.

While I was doing this, keeping quiet, minding my own business, the girl next to me quickly changed seats, before it was too late and she'd be forced to sit next to anti-social me for the rest of the year. I looked up but she ignored me and continued chatting with the girl she had left me for.

All right, fine. I would be left by other girls many more times in the years to come.

That's when she walked in. Not the teacher (girly Mr. Iruka who gave English and philosophy), although he followed after her, but the most adoringly magnificent creature I had ever seen, and smoking hot too.

I'm saying this now, a long time after, having had the time to come to terms with myself and come up with the words and the bravery to write it all down. But back then, I remember mostly thinking: 'Wow.' and feeling incredibly hot in the face.

I can recall what she looked like with uncanny precision. She wasn't very tall but there was something model-like about her long brown legs, and her slim waist. She wore her long, straight blond hair in a ponytail leaving one strand out, clipped tight behind her ear. When she moved, she moved carelessly with long and languid strides. She was dressed in a tight sky blue top and very short torn jeans that showed off those fine legs of hers (which I won't be able to shut up about, if you'll bear with me).

If I would have been able to tear my eyes away from her only a second, I could have noticed all the boys in the class checking her out as well. Understandable. She was more beautiful than anybody I had ever seen.

But I may be overreacting. It's just that I know her now, and I realise that everybody is positively rhapsodic over that first one. That first person that manages to knock the breath out of you and leaves an impression you never really lose.

By sheer luck or what she herself liked to call fate, in that deep mock voice she abused when teasing me about my silly fantasies, she sat down next to me, and would remain there for the rest of the year.

Effeminate Mr. Iruka asked her to introduce herself to the class and she spoke with a hoarse, smoky voice:

'Ino.' (I will never ever forget the way she pouted her lips on that final 'o', chin resting on her brown hands).

'Yamanaka Ino?' Iruka added.

She just nodded. I tried to pay attention the rest of class, but I kept catching myself looking at her bronzed shoulder, or the fine blond hairs that surrounded her small ears, or even the tiny piece of pink bra-strap that was visible from under the blue of her top.

When the bell rang, and everybody jumped up to leave the classroom, interrupting Iruka's speech about manners and kindness, it was as if I awoke from some sort of dream. I got up last and hesitantly and my eyes were still glued onto her. She unclipped the piece of hair from behind her ear and slowly, teasing me, ran one hand through it. Then she looked at me over her shoulder, only for a second and completely by accident. In that tiny flicker of sky -blue from her eyes, I thought I'd die.

-

I discovered Yamanaka Ino doubled, later that day when I saw her talking to a couple of seniors who were hugging her and pulling her ponytail. I caught glimpses of her smile and the piece of bright, pink gum she was chewing that stuck out between her white teeth from time to time.

In philosophy, one hour after lunch, she smelled of sweet cherries and plasticine. I found myself blushing constantly so hard that even my arms saw pink. After class, dear Iruka held us both back from walking out the door and he suggested we get together sometimes (Oh Dear god) to work on English and maths. I consented, of course I did, I couldn't have said anything else. Ino eyed the ground and pulled the corners of her mouth downward a little, only for a second. I felt guilty immediately and stammered something about it being up to her really, if she wanted to.

That made her look up and I think she saw something because she narrowed her eyes slightly, those fierce, blue privet skies that I could gaze up at until world's end.

She never looked at me that long though and nodded casually, said goodbye, and walked out. Outside in the hallway I heard her friends moan and laugh at the unfortunate agreement.

-

The following weeks brought me nothing but bad sleep and feverish, shaking fingers every time I sat next to her. She didn't talk to me, only just glanced my way every now and then. She didn't say anything about the tutoring. I thought she had forgotten, or worse, that she would rather double again than accept.

Until one Friday after school when I was waiting for the bus, my bag at my feet and a book in my hand, as usual. She appeared in front of me like a ghost, a tanned one, wearing the smallest orange shorts imaginable and the same blue top.

I startled and sort of jumped up. Awkward. She had to take a step back to keep our heads from bumping together. I lost the page in my book and dropped my bookmark, bent down to pick it up which made her jump back again. I mumbled a stifled apology and muffled the book away.

She looked at me with big eyes, she was wearing a lot of make-up today. She normally wore nothing or very little. I wondered whether she was going out or something. Maybe she had a boyfriend. Of course she had a boyfriend, she was practically a goddess.

'So what do you think?'

'Huh? What?'

I could see her seize me up as some sort of weird clown. She repeated herself again, slowly, like talking to a child.

'Can I come by tomorrow? For maths, right?'

I nodded my head and smiled a little stupidly, cursed myself afterward. I could see her thinking: 'Am I going to be tutored by this retard? She can't even put together a regular sentence.' So to try and convince her that I could I said:

'That's fine. My address is on here. I'll see you tomorrow.' and handed her a piece of folded paper (I had been keeping that in my pocket for a week now) and tried to sound real natural.

She said 'fine', and kept looking at me a second too long. This haunted me for the rest of the day and the following morning, when the I jumped up at the speed of lightning at the sound of the doorbell.

My mother came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel, but I ran past her, slipped on the tiles in the hallway and screeched 'I'll get it'.

I opened the door smiling the biggest, most stupid watery smile at her, my Ino. She looked at me quizzically again but then raised her eyebrows to her hairline, shrugged barely noticeable, and walked in without waiting for the invitation I had prepared and memorised the day before.

I fluttered around in the hallway, torn between taking her jacket, which she just dumped by the umbrella stand, ignoring my half outstretched arms, and running into the kitchen to get us refreshing lemonade I had also prepared that morning. I was real spazz when I was younger, I like to believe I'm a little more controlled now that I've past my twenties.

In the end Ino sort of made the decision for me and said:

'Your room's upstairs I guess. Why don't you get something to drink and I'll go up already.'

I nodded breathlessly and disappeared through the door. While I was in the kitchen pouring us both a glass of lemonade I got a sudden anxiety attack. I imagined Ino going through my stuff, trailing her finger along the books that lined my bookcase and silently mocking me for the stupid stuff I read. Without getting my breath back I picked up the trey and started walking up the stairs, but I was going to fast and spilled some of the lemonade.

It turned out I had nothing to fear for Ino was sitting on the bed, staring out the low window absently, squinting in the sunlight.

I breathed a soft hello and set down the tray. I had actually emptied part of my desk so that she could sit at one side, and I on the other, opposite each other. I handed her one of the sticky glasses and set down at my own desk.

'So.'

'Yeah.' Ino replied immediately and she didn't seem nearly as nervous as I was. One of her many gifts.

'I thought we could start by doing the homework for Tuesday, so I can see where you've got problems.'

Ino nodded and reluctantly got up, shuffled to the chair I had set at the other side, and dropped down on it with a sigh. She was wearing a white top today, slightly baggy so that when she lifted her arm you could see the lime-coloured straps of her bra. That and short kaki pants. I looked at her, got lost again in the shadows and dimples of her skin, the glow of her hair. I remember thinking what a perve I was, crushing on my student. Even then I was prone to using words like that, had no difficulty at all imagining myself as a teacher. So you could say, I am a natural at what I do.

'Um, let's start here.'

I pointed at the paper and she leaned forward, hands under her thighs, uninterested, and in that moment the light changed and I could see her from up close.

There was some colour by her eye and for a second I thought it was make-up, like yesterday, but then it dawned on me and I gasped and moved my own hand almost unconsciously. I dropped it just in time and asked her softly:

'Who did that to you?'

Ino raised her eyes up at me really fast, like a gazelle and her hand flew up to stroke the bruise. She looked away for a second and frowned just a little. But Ino recovers fast and she can take a lot.

'My jerk boyfriend, ex I should say.'

I knew she had one, but hearing the words spill from her own lips made it a little too real and intimate for me. Just kept staring at her, baffled. I couldn't understand why anyone would ever want to hurt her.

'It's fine. I fucking hated that guy. He told me all the personality I had was located it my tits.'

This made her smile a little. She did always know how to smile. If ever there would be a championship in the subject of smiling, Ino would be Olympic gold.

'Which he said were small and funny looking.'

'No!' I exclaimed, a little too passionate and a little too loud.

She laughed at me and continued: 'I know, right? My tits are perfect.'

I looked back into her eyes, ashamed now that she'd caught me in her trap. The bruise was more visible now that I knew it was there, although I could see she had tried to cover it with make-up.

'No, I mean, yes, no! They are, but I mean you have a great personality.'

It would have to take a couple of years before I learned how to be truly smooth with words. I was an especially dorky teenager which I've no doubt you've guessed already. Ino never minded though, and she didn't then. She looked at me, smile brimming on her face, almost spilling over to that full, toothy laugh I used to adore so much.

She shook her head and looked back at the page. Outside the sunlight was ripening, from bright yellow to a soft peachy colour.

I discovered she was a pleasant pupil. She was diligent but had trouble concentrating for long periods of time. When I let her do a problem on her own it was only a matter of time before she would drift on and gaze out the window, or inspect my room.

It was getting dark when I let her out of the house, and I handed her, her jacket and hung around in the door opening. She stayed on the steps and looked at me with a funny look in her bright blue eyes.

'you're not so bad Haruno.' She said.

'Thanks for today.'

'It's no trouble at all.' I replied immediately, more grateful than she, more honoured.

She laughed at my enthusiasm and turned on her heel, hands in her pockets, shuffled off the steps onto the sandy driveway. I stayed in the door opening like a love-sick puppy watching her go. When she was almost out of sight, she looked at me one last time and I'm convinced she saw the look of intense longing on my face. I must have been a sight. I couldn't have hidden such a feeling. It must have been plain on my face how much I adored her, how much I wanted her to be mine.

-

I tried to act normal the following days, or at least as if Ino didn't make me feel the way she did. Though I'm sorry to sat that at that time, it probably wouldn't have mattered very much whether I pretended to be completely cool or not, she wouldn't have noticed.

As in every school, crowd, country, biosphere, there are those you'd like to hang out with, and there are those who can't find places to sit in the lunchroom and are forced to squat down on the stairs with a tray on their knees. I belonged to that second group of people. And Ino, slim, brown Ino with straight teeth and those sultry eyes was inevitably, unquestionably part of the first group. She sat next to me during philosophy and English, but that was it. We barely even spoke.

Things were different when she was at my house, in my room, opposite me, sighing and moaning about problems she didn't understand. She was more quiet, but just as easily amused and amusing. I discovered she didn't care much for gossip and fashion didn't interests her either (although I found she always dressed perfectly, showing just the right amount of bare skin to stall my eyes). We got along very well. I didn't feel nearly as awkward around her as I did with others, nor as pressed. Whenever a silence fell it was always fine and light and I took comfort in the fact that she could be alone with me so easily.

Nevertheless, when we parted at the door and she waved me goodbye when she went round the bend (I kept seeing her out) that was where we stopped.

At school she was a different Ino, one no less desirable for me, but someone unattainable, like a marble statue you can't kiss to life as hard as you may try.

One afternoon however she did talk to me and I was a little stunned. It was a Wednesday in October, bitterly cold outside and I was in the village because I needed to buy a new winter coat. She was huddled in a sky-blue raincoat that hugged her slim waist exactly the way it should. It was still relatively warm for autumn, but I've always been the calculating one and I always buy my clothes one month in advance. Ino was still wearing denim cut-off shorts.

'Sakura, hey.'

She came up to me, breathless and strangely agitated and I saw her look over my shoulder and left and right as if she were hiding from someone.

'I need a coat.' I explained a little confused.

Ino laughed and with too much enthusiasm she grabbed me by the arm and turned me around.

'I know some great shops.'

I didn't question that, but I doubted whether I had enough guts to go with whatever coat Ino had in mind for me. She wore colours and tight-fitting, exotic fabrics, I wore brown and black. But I wasn't about to object because she was _holding _my arm and I turned a bright shade of pink to go with my hair.

The shops were alright and I eventually bought the coat Ino had chosen for me. It was a very warm peachy sort of colour, mid-thigh length and nice and warm on the inside. She held it up against me and looked at me carefully. I held my breath all that time and noticed the freckles on her nose.

'This is the one.' She said finally, and pressed it in my hands.

When we were outside again, slowly making our way to the bus stop, Ino began to look around again.

'Are you looking for someone?' I asked hesitantly.

Ino bit her lip and shook her head.

'I'm so sorry. I've been bad company right? I was sort of hiding from some people, but I really did have fun today.'

I shook my head vehemently and stumbled over my word.

'Don't feel bad. I had a great time!'

Why in god's name would she feel like she had to apologise to me? A lesser mortal. I'd probably continue to love her even if she set my house on fire. (I hope you realise I was the sort of intense, quiet girl that tends to exaggerate. I think I probably wouldn't still love her if she set my house on fire. But I've always liked it when beautiful people are kind. It sort of breaks the stereotypes.)

'Who were you hiding from?'

Ino lifted her head and looked up into the grey sky, squinting her eyes against the wind, looking for clouds. She shrugged and buried her hands in her pockets.

'My ex-boyfriend, the prick who hit me, you remember him, is way too well connected with my friends. They all adore him 'cause he's funny and handsome. I told them he's an ass, but they pick his side. I just can't hang around with them if he's there.'

I nodded my head and was sort of speechless. I didn't think there were any people alive that didn't know how to appreciate Ino. I figured she was as precious and amazing to her friends as she was to me, but it seemed they were all blind idiots. I felt like telling her that but we arrived at the bus stop and Ino suddenly ducked behind a tree.

'Fuck.' I heard her swear as she held her leg, where she had hurt herself against a concrete traffic pole.

'What?' I whispered and placed myself next to her, close to her, out of sight.

'It my fucking cousin. Oh god, I forgot he was coming over.'

'What's wrong with your cousin?'

'Everything. For one, he's my ex's best friend. Shit, they're probably going over to my place. Fuck. What am I going to do?'

She looked at me then, with actual fear in her eyes, not just dramatics. I couldn't stand the sight. I wanted to touch her arm, to feel that she was near and not some dream. I wanted to reassure her. The words came before I registered what I had done.

'You can stay at mine…' and then I started to stutter, because she was still looking into my eyes, only different now, 'I mean, if you want of course. My parents are going out, so they'll probably leave me some food…. But I mean, I can share, I don't mind. I'm not such a big eater I--'

That's where Ino stopped my rant with a quick grateful smile. She breathed out and it turned to cloud in the cold air.

'Lifesaver.' She whispered.

-

**I was gonna make this a one-shot, but I got impatient and posted it already. Tell me what you think pls. **


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